Right now I'm still recovering from my second collapsed lung, which they like to call a spontaneous pneumothorax. I also had the great pleasure to experience a large plastic tube being shoved into the side of my breast, through the tissue and between two ribs, into the thoracic cavity, which is where my lungs reside. The ER doctor felt pretty strongly that I would be safer if I didn't go under with anesthesia, just local numbing on the skin for the incision. After interrogating him about the consequences of undergoing such surgery without anesthesia and while remaining fully awake and completely aware of the whole process, I decided to take his advice and just go for it. Let me tell you, that was the most painful and utterly unpleasant thing I've had to endure, ever. I was thinking about how they should record someone getting a chest tube put in without anesthesia and use it for an anti-smoking commercial. It would be quite effective. But who am I to know anything like that. I'm just an unemployed moron, with no health insurance. Anyway, I made it though the surgery with the help of my friend Dilaudid, which is hydromorphone administered through an IV... and a lot of clinching, crying and some screaming too. Once the surgery was over and I had the chest tube installed, my breathing started to return to normal as my lung filled up, and with the Dilauded fully kicked in, I felt pretty decent as I lay there backed in to the ER bay in my sexy hospital gown and nose tubes. This is where I waited for a few hours until they had a room ready. It was like I was watching a movie or TV show and since I could breath quite well and was really high, it was sort of entertaining to watch everyone performing. After I got my room, it was really difficult to get comfortable and especially sleep with all the wires, tubes and tape all over my body, not to mention that big plastic tube that was protruding from the side of my left breast that ended in a little contraption sitting on the floor next to my bed.
I used this time that I was bed-ridden to work on my website and to study web development, using a laptop and a horrible Wi-Fi connection. Basically every time I clicked anything, I had to "repair" the connection, sometimes having to refresh the browser too. It was excruciating just to do anything, but at least it worked enough to slowly make progress and keep my mind off of everything. At one point the next day while I was plugging away at my site and flying high from the "legal high" that I was experiencing, along with the continued pain in my chest that never really went away, no matter how much Dilauded or Norco I had, I noticed that my chest tube was not where it was supposed to be and not where that nice doctor put it the day before. It just happened to be lying on the floor next to my bed, all covered in dried blood and not doing it's job. Damn it! I went though all that, just to have it end up ineffectively lying on the floor! Oh well, they said my lung was mostly inflated and it would probably be OK. They would just watch me and take a lot of X rays for the next few days and it should all be fine.
So here I am a couple days after getting out and I can breathe quite well, but it still hurts to breathe deep and especially to cough. I'm not convinced that I'm out of the woods yet with this and to be honest, I'm a little scared too. Now in the course of just 6 weeks, both of my lungs have collapsed... for no apparent and obvious reason, other than I used to smoke, but I've known a lot of smokers and I don't think I know of any who have had a collapsed lung, but what do I know. I'm just an unemployed moron. It was one thing when I just had the one lung collapse, because I have another one, but when the other one collapsed too, and after a 3 day hospital stay, that I still feel a lot of pain and tightness that I felt before going on to the hospital, I'm actually scared and not really sure what to do. It also doesn't help much that I don't have health insurance. If I keep having to go to the hospital, will they eventually tell me to fuck off, or what?
Well, in the mean time I will try to stay positive. I will keep applying for jobs and will continue studying and learning web development, which at least gives me some hope. My site is still under construction and some of it has been rewritten (and actually works). http://www.StacyYoungPhotos.com
I also realize more than ever how fragile life really is. The ability to just breathe, is something most of us take for granted. I sure appreciate it a lot more and now that I've damaged my lungs all these years from smoking, I realize this. Hopefully at least someone reading this will learn from my mistakes and quit smoking or never start if they don't smoke already. We only have one set of lungs in this life, so it doesn't make sense to purposely fuck them up!