May 18, 2012

Life, Death and Violets

What is it that makes us just totally lose our interest in fighting for things we believe in? I've been going through this change lately, which is a complete contrast from before. Before what? Just before I started feeling this way, which has been coming on slowly for weeks. For instance I was almost obsessed with staying up with all the latest news and also my piddly attempts at "activism" like posting this really important stuff on Facebook with every other breath I take. I know that somewhere deep down, I still feel these strong convictions about the affairs of our civilization and our corrupt political system and I'm sure I will be making some more posts along these lines, but it's time to take a break from it all, from the news, from it all. Am I merely burying my head in the sand? Yes, most likely, but it's also necessary for my personal survival. I have a tendency to really let stuff get to me and it takes a toll on my health. This might be one of the reasons I ended up in the hospital with a collapsed lung last month. Sure there are probably other environmental factors, but I think that I do have a tendency to internalize too many matters and this leads to sickness and imbalance.

I've been trying to just let myself enjoy the healing energy of nature, especially with all the wonderful and aromatic flowers that are blooming right now. This is therapeutic for me, but it is not helping to change the world for the better or helping get Ron Paul elected as our president. But if I stayed on the same path I was on, I may not be of much help anyway. It's kind of hard to do things like that when you're dead.

Death is something I've been around a little too much lately. I've had two people who I was very close to die recently and besides adding to my depression, this has also made me realize more than ever, how fragile life is, and that no matter what we do or don't do, that we will someday die...whether we like it or not. That morning I woke up with a tight chest, feeling lightheaded and hardly being able to breathe from the collapsed lung (pneumothorax) has helped me realize this even more.

So maybe it's not such a bad thing to actually make the most of life, to take care of our bodies and to appreciate the good things that life has to offer, such as the peacefulness, pureness and beauty of nature and to appreciate and love the people in our lives who are special to us.

I shot this picture today while doing just that. The sun was lighting up these violets just perfectly this afternoon. Btw, they smelled wonderful! Wish I could capture the aroma too. :)
    

1 comment:

anonymous said...

At some point in life you realize you have to pick your battles. I hate to get all Sun Tzu on you, but if you wear yourself out fighting a battle you can't win, then you have no strength to fight those you can win. I've been following you on Flickr for a while (no not in a creepy stalker way, but as an amateur shutterbug, and incidentally a huge fan of aviation history, I really admire your photographic work), and I noticed you are Ron Paul supporter and a believer in the chemtrails phenomenon. I like Ron Paul, too, I think he's a good guy and I also think there may be something to this chemtrails thing; but that said, I realize that Mr. Paul is not electable, and that no matter how much ruckus you raise about chemtrails, all that will do is get you labeled as a conspiracy nut. You sound like a brilliant woman who has a lot to say, so explore ways that you can make a difference. For example, I assume since you are a Ron Paul supporter that you favor a smaller, less intrusive government and a non-interventionist foreign policy. Well, good, then blog about that and why it's a good thing. You may convince some people. They may not become Ron Paul supporters but you may influence some minds. Use you photography to get people to pay attention to the environment. In addition to painting a pretty picture with shots of trees and butterflies, you might try to shoot scenes that interpose nature and ugliness. A field of daffodils set against a background of a powerplant spewing black coal smoke or a beautiful sunset over a landfill. Show how the beauty of nature can be ruined by our wastefulness. I'm so terrible with these long drawn out posts, but I guess I have a lot to say and I don't want you to be discouraged or become sick.