Thoughts


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Stacy considers it a great honor to be featured on Wendy's book which was recognized with the 2014 Press 53 Award for Short Fiction. You can purchase The Seven Stages of Anger and Other Stories through Wendy's website.
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This mentality has been the core of the problem. Homeless people have to exist. They have to sleep. They have to eat once in a while at least. You cannot make them go away by strong-arming them into the other side of the tracks or under another bridge where the people who live and work near the bridge haven't complained enough yet to cause enough of a "stir" to be forced to address the issue.
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I remember how excited I felt 5 years ago when I was about to purchase my first "real camera". The new Nikon D90 has just been released and I was convinced that THIS was the best bang for the buck... or at least that this camera would improve my photography skills and business opportunities making it a worthy investment. This was the decision I made after carefully reviewing all the DSLR cameras.
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These bars are going in the trash... Not even donated cause I don't want to feed anyone this trash. The American Heart Association and Kellogg's really don't give a shit about our health. It's all about public image and profit and this (among many other things) proves it. In fact, most of the large food corporations care more about their bottom line than they do about our health.
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I just got back from a business trip to beautiful New Hampshire that I took on a Greyhound. The trip was about 24 hours each way and I was unable to get any sleep on the bus at all. I did enjoy the whole experience and the opportunity to take all these pictures, especially the pictures of people, which I mainly took on my trip home in the Cleveland Greyhound station. This was supposed to be a 5 hour layover, but I missed the Detroit bus along with 4 other nice people, all who were very confident that we were not supposed to get into the Detroit Express line. This taught me to not so blindly trust other people, even if they seem like they know exactly what they are doing! Because of this little mistake, I had to stay in Cleveland for an additional 4 hours, making it a 9 hour layover.
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I took a walk around downtown Mt. Clemens this morning on my way to the library. It was a very warm and muggy day and I was glad I made this walk in the early morning instead of waiting til later. One thing I noticed today with all the people I saw is that everyone seems to be in a trance. No one was smiling or even seemed happy at all. Is life really this miserable for so many people? At least they have a lovely little town to live in.
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For those who have been following my personal and health progress, here's a little update. I've been out of the hospital for 6 days and have made huge progress. For the first few days I spent most of my time sleeping.
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Then they injected the general anesthesia, but I wasn't really aware exactly when they did this. All I remember is my prep nurse's smiling face, along with some other staff walking around, then waking up in a complete state of shock and  shivering probably worse than I ever have. Not sure, but it almost felt like a form of convulsions cause I do remember, not only a severe shaking, but flailing around on the operation bed and feeling extremely cold and confused, then my God....there was the PAIN.
______________________________________________________________________3rd and 4th Spontaneous Pneumothorax and Video-Assisted Thoracic Surgery
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Late last night the tube came loose and it felt horribly painful and unsettling, so much that I really thought it was a serious problem, like involving my heart too. I can't even describe the intensity of the pain and the fear I had but I will try. I really don't think the ER doctor put it in properly to start with and he didn't do a very good job instilling my confidence in his abilities to do this either. To start with, when he told me it was 45-50% collapsed and they had to put in the chest drain tube immediately, he then joked about looking up the procedure on YouTube, which may have been his way of easing me up, but I wondered if this is perhaps what he actually did.
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Life offers no guarantees or insurance. We are born into this twisted and demented planet, we live a relatively short life, then we die. I don't even believe that any human being has ever been able to really know what happens to us when we die. Some say we go to heaven or hell. Others say we reincarnate as another human, animal, plant, mineral or rock. And some people believe we just vanish like a vapor into the ether and that is all that is the end of our consciousness. I personally don't believe any of this. How can I? It's all speculation, therefore I believe that we don't know what happens to us, which is probably more accurate and scientific than any number of the array of religious beliefs and dogma.
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Right now I'm still recovering from my second collapsed lung, which they like to call a spontaneous pneumothorax. I also had the great pleasure to experience a large plastic tube being shoved into the side of my breast, through the  tissue and between two ribs, into the thoracic cavity, which is where my lungs reside. The ER doctor felt pretty  strongly that I would be safer if I didn't go under with anesthesia, just local numbing on the skin for the  incision.
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Just as I'm starting to type out this new blog post while ignoring my rhythmically tapping foot, I also feel like going back into the kitchen to see if there's something quick, tasteful and unhealthy that I can stuff in my face. You know, the kind of food that the main ingredients are HFCS, sugar, hydrogenated oil and food coloring, followed by a paragraph of unpronounceable words.. The kind of food that makes you feel sick, sluggish and bloated before you even eat it.
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So maybe it's not such a bad thing to actually make the most of life, to take care of our bodies and to appreciate the good things that life has to offer, such as the peacefulness, pureness and beauty of nature and to appreciate and love the people in our lives who are special to us.
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Today I started learning HTML and I'm also working on a new page on my site that I'm using to practice and learn. As simple as the page is so far, I'm really thrilled to have written my first code and was able to see it work. When I uploaded the page that I made in notepad to my site, went to the page and it loaded just as it was intended to, I did a Hell Yeah! It's little thrills like this that make life interesting. :)
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I'm sorta doing a fast right now, which is for many reasons. One is to give me more energy and raise my vibration, the other is just to lose the weight that I've been trying to lose for the last 2 years, it's not a lot, just maybe 10 lbs, but I always hit a plateau at a certain weight and have been struggling to just get past that and establish a new baseline to work with.
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After the 2 week frenzy of applying for jobs online, before I go insane, I should try a different tactic, since that one hasn't seemed to be too effective so far. There is only one problem. My social phobia has fully kicked in now that I'm ready to go and look like a thousand dollars.
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Why do we feel compelled to share every detail of our lives online, usually with people we don't really know in real life, although that brings up another interesting phenomenon that I'll get to later. I found 4 Beatles stations on iTunes radio this morning! I just had to share it…
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