May 14, 2012

Agoraphobia should be overcome!

 So here I am sitting here all dressed up and ready to walk downtown to look for a job. My plan is to visit every place that looks like they could possibly use help and the places that look like the kind of place I would like to work. After the 2 week frenzy of applying for jobs online, before I go insane, I should try a different tactic, since that one hasn't seemed to be too effective so far. There is only one problem. My social phobia has fully kicked in now that I'm ready to go and look like a thousand dollars. It is very intimidating to me to have to just walk into offices, stores and restaurants that I've never been in or have even seen, except briefly out of the car window. Then once I get down there on foot, I have to look like I know where I'm going, otherwise I will just resign myself to finding a quiet bench, sort of out of the way where I can sit and pretend like I have very important matters on my iPod. I could just find a coffee shop and while patronizing the store, casually ask them if they have any job openings. Or maybe I could pretend like I'm one of those ultra-confident and out going individuals and pretend like I own the place. Instead of asking them in a little shy voice, while being careful not to have prolonged eye contact or not enough eye contact and eagerly looking for the first opportunity that I can get out of there to retreat, I could just tell them I'm looking for employment and have the attitude that if I want to work there, there is no reason they should not hire me. But for someone like me who is very reserved and I guess you can say quite shy, with a severe case of Agoraphobia mixed in, just to make it really interesting, this is not an easy task. 

I just wish I would feel more self-confident and just get out there in the real world and just not care what other people think and not try to be so overly-polite all the time...maybe just 50% more assertive, and 50% more confident would be a good measure. Maybe I should just not use this blog as an excuse not to get out in the world and make things happen, or perhaps I should just save my thought until the end of the day after I've gone out in the real world, then I might have more to write about... but then that may not be the most effective way to handle this. 

I think I need to just stop over-thinking everything, even whether I should be using so many hyphens adjoining two words. Just be me. :)

And there's always tomorrow! 

 Now that I missed my opportunity to go out into the real world today, I can now put my jeans and hoodie back on...and just be comfy again. Maybe do a little gardening before the sun goes down. :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love the way you write, and in no way butchered the English language :-) For what it's worth, I'm very proud of you for dealing with your social anxieties and getting your booty out there and doing some grass roots job hunting! The first step is the hardest, and at the very least, you have a friend who will encourage you (and keep reading your blog!) and pat you on the back :-)