Tramadol, Doctors, Still Job Searching and Smashing Pumpkins

Hi everyone, I'm gonna write a little update since it's now been a week since my last post. I went to the first visit with my new primary care doctor 2 days ago. Since I don't have income or health insurance, I had no choice but to go to an office that mostly sees welfare and low income patients. That's me! This doctor was a resident physician that is overseen by a more established doctor, who also popped in to introduce himself and ask a few questions, however I was very impressed with the primary care physician who seemed to sincerely care and also spent a great deal of time talking to me. It was sort of a relief after dealing with the slew of doctors in the hospital who could only muster about 1 minute of their time every time they came in to my room.

Because of being in the hospital for a week and from experiencing all kind of different pain relievers, and since I at least try to use my brain to think things through, I had a pretty good idea of what kind of pain reliever actually worked for the kind of pain that I have. This happens to be hydrocodone, but the doctor told me that it was a new law that they were not allowed to prescribe narcotics on the first visit and even though I told him that Hydrocodone worked quite well and the pain was a 7 on a scale of 10, I got a prescription for Tramadol. (BTW, don't you think that the auto speller here at Google would recognize pharmaceuticals...especially since the pharmaceutical companies have so much clout?) OK, anyway I've been taking the Tramadol for 2 days and they are doing very little for the pain and may be slightly more effective than acetaminophen or ibuprofen, but not by very much. They do however make me feel much less inhibited and a little high even...more so than the supposedly very addictive hydrocodone. So I guess that maybe the makers of Tramadol have worked out a little deal with the DEA...wink wink...to promote them and not label them as a narcotic or very addictive. But I can definitely see how these could be valuable on the street and I'm surprised that they give them out like candy... but then again, I'm actually not really all that surprised since they still consider marijuana a dangerous drug, yet it's just hunky dory to drink ourselves into oblivion instead! Sorry but I'm a little grouchy since this pain is still unbearable and now I have a bottle of pills that aren't helping, just so I won't become addicted to vicodin. Do they really care if I become addicted? That's a bunch of crap for sure.

Now on a more happy an upbeat tone. I've been happily listening to the new Smashing Pumpkins album, "Oceania" and I have been so pleasantly surprised by this wonderful work of art. After listening to their "Zeitgeist" album, I was so disappointed and was almost ready to write off Billy Corgan as perhaps another washed up musician and was gonna wait to see him showing up as a lounge act and also releasing even more greatest hits albums with new artwork and the same songs, just in a different order. But Oceania is such a wonderful gem of an album and I've been listening to it on Spotify non-stop...at least when I'm near the computer. Unfortunately I don't have $15 to purchase an album, but I will be checking with the library to get a copy of it. Although I would never dream of ripping the CD onto my computer! But would have it for 3 weeks to listen too all I want. :)

In the meantime, besides just trying to heal and recover from the surgery and dealing with the pain, I've been applying for jobs...probably a few dozen more since my last post talking about this. I'm going for another long walk around downtown and will take more side streets, stopping in to businesses asking if they are hiring. Something has to happen and maybe, just maybe some business will just happen to be looking for someone to sweep their floors or so some kind of crap that most people might not enjoy doing and I will just happen to walk in at the right moment and before they post the job opening. Maybe they will see my happy face and willingness to do just about any job and eagerness to learn anything new as well and I will get a job using this technique. I'm really trying to stay positive about all this and also trying my best to avoid resorting to just selling myself as a sex slave or a number of other shady and/or illegal activities just out of desperation. OK, I am kidding about the sex slave thing. It's not my thing, but I can see how some women do this. It's a rough and cruel world and I'm finding that getting a job does not always have to do with having the right skill set, experience and attitude,  but does instead seem to be more to do with "who you know". Since I've recently moved to Michigan and don't get out socializing much, I don't know anyone, so that I think is the main reason why this is so much of a damn struggle. Not to mention that Detroit is one of the worst job markets in the country too.

Hey if anyone reading this knows of any job opportunities, please let me know and consider at least talking to me about it. I am welcoming the chance for an interview and also open to all possibilities too!

I leave you with the song "Violet Rays" off the Smashing Pumpkins new album, Oceania. :)

My experiences with the latest Pneumothorax, VATS and the healing process directly after surgery

Here's the update since having the surgery on Monday. They pulled the chest tube out today and what a relief this was! I don't know how much longer I would have been able to stand having this tube protruding from my side and being tethered to the Pleur-evac chest drainage system device. Not to mention the amount of constant pain that having this tube in has caused, at the incision site, deep in my chest and in my middle to upper back also. Every breath was painful. Just the act of repositioning my body a half inch on the bed was painful and basically everything else I did while it was in was equally as painful. So yes, I'm so happy it is finally out and not to mention that it actually stayed in during this whole process so that it could actually do it's job properly! Btw, at least I know I'm not just being a whiny-wimp by my reaction to the pain that I've experienced lately, cause my nurse did tell me that her chest tube patients seemed to have suffered the most pain of any of her patients, including those undergoing major surgeries.

Since this was my first real surgery I was feeling extra anxious about it, but as I got the first glimpse of my prep nurse as they were wheeling me into the surgery prep room, I started to feel some relief from the anxiety with the sight of her genuine, warm and caring smile. I felt that it was a blessing to have her as my prep nurse and that she definitely met her calling with this particular career path because she was as sweet and helpful as could be. So pretty much immediately they started giving me pain meds and anti-anxiety meds as well and her nurturing voice helped guide me through this process. Then they injected the general anesthesia, but I wasn't really aware exactly when they did this. All I remember is my prep nurse's smiling face, along with some other staff walking around, then waking up in a complete state of shock and  shivering probably worse than I ever have. Not sure, but it almost felt like a form of convulsions cause I do remember, not only a severe shaking, but flailing around on the operation bed and feeling extremely cold and confused, then my God....there was the PAIN. As I was just waking up and having these experiences, it seemed that everyone around me were also freaking out, and I kept asking if the surgery went OK and if I was OK, I was assured that everything was fine as they put warm blankets over me. I asked for more pain meds but they said they had already given me a tremendous cocktail of meds and they couldn't give more right then yet. So I sat there slowly waking up and warming up and finally quit shivering, but the pain was so intense in basically my entire upper body that I could not move or even budge at all. During the Video Assisted Thoracic Surgery, otherwise just called VATS, they didn't find any blebs or anything else suspicious, but they did perform a Pleurodesis, which is mechanically irritating the parietal pleura. In other words, they rough up the linings of my lungs and the lung cavity with a gauze, to make it bleed, which helps the lung stick to the cavity walls as it heals and scabs up.  By now it was late at night and obviously I was their last surgery for the day. Eventually they moved me back to my room, but I didn't have the nice "luxury" room where I had been in the ICU, but a regular private room on what they simply to referred to as "The Floor". 

Pleur-Evac lung fluid evacuation system and my chest tube

That was 3 days ago and like I said, they removed the chest tube today. Basically since they put it in during the surgery, I have not really been able to sleep. This was due to a combination of a lot of pain and the inconvenience of having the tube coming out of my side, plus the fact that just laying down or even inclining a certain amount was entirely too painful. So any sleep had to be done totally sitting up, which is even more difficult for me since I'm a stomach sleeper. LOL these conditions aren't at all conducive to really getting any decent sleep. So after they removed the tube early this afternoon, the first thing I did was just stretch out on the bed, laying down on my stomach and  going to sleep within seconds. I was able to sleep the entire afternoon without being bothered until the room service called to see if I wanted to order dinner. I hesitated since at that particular moment, food was the last thing I was concerned about, but I knew that once 6:30pm came, the room service would be closed and I wouldn't be able to eat anything until after 6:30 the next morning. Since I had been sleeping very well for the first time since before the surgery and was just jostled from a really interesting dream, I couldn't think very well, so I just asked them what they recommend. They told me today's special was butter/garlic angel hair pasta with chicken and green beans, coleslaw and melon/cantaloupe on the side. I said fine, just leave off the chicken since I'm vegetarian...then immediately went back to sleep, on my stomach.

As humans, we often take little things for granted like our health, being able to breathe well and without pain, being able to just freely get out of bed and walk around and sleeping in the position that we find most comfortable. These are things that I used to take for granted and even though I can't promise how I will feel and think in the future, I do know that now, I don't take these things for granted. I also appreciate life, health, tasty healthy food, good nurses and doctors and friends and loved ones so much more too.

Reference: 
Spontaneous Pneumothorax,
Pleurodesis,
Video Assisted Thoracic Surgery (VATS),
Pleur-Evac
Chest Tube,

flowers my friend picked from his yard

my little setup with everything at arms-reach

the food was exceptional & all produce was local and organic

closeup of my salad with computer in background